Resolutions // Why You Shouldn't Make Them + What To Do Instead
I stopped setting resolutions years ago.
I love a good goal, I love envisioning and working towards my ideal future, I love checking something off a list, but I do not love resolutions. Why you ask? Because they do more harm than help and they set you up for nothing but failure.
Resolutions, to me, feel restricting and more like a punishment for something you aren’t “enough of”. You aren’t skinny enough, lose weight. You aren’t rich enough, make more money. Your outfits aren’t cool enough, shop more. Work more, eat less, workout harder, save more, eat this, don’t eat that, get botox because you’re getting wrinkles, spend more time on social media to get more followers, go out more {Who cares that you are naturally more of an introvert?!}, be cooler, be smarter, be prettier, be healthier, be richer. It’s exhausting. And sadly, none of those things are designed to help you be better. All those resolutions, those are to impress other people or make social media like you or conform to unnecessary societal pressures or help you “fit in” and “be cool”.
Additionally, resolutions often feel like they come with an expectation to reach for the stars via lofty accomplishments that aren’t even in the realm of possibility, and within a very specific timeframe, to boot. You know you can never accomplish them, but you set them anyways, and then, when you don’t achieve them, you feel like a complete and total failure. Stop setting yourself up to fail and stop setting resolutions. You should be adding to your life, not taking away from it. You should be bettering your life, not punishing yourself for living. So, next time you go to set a resolution, stop and try doing a few of my suggestions instead.
WEARING
SUNNIES // VICTORIA BECKHAM c/o
NECKLACE // MEJURI c/o
BLAZER + JEANS // CLOSED c/o
TANK TOP // H&M
BOOTS // JACK ERWIN c/o
BAG // WELDEN c/o
IN
DTLA, CA
Instead of resolutions…
002 // Ignore Dates
With goals, you want to be constantly checking in, recalibrating, setting new ones, adjusting based on whatever happens to be going on in your life. Unlike resolutions that start on January 1st, you don’t need to wait for a new year {or new month or week} to work towards a new goal.
004 // Check In
Change is the one guarantee in life, so it’s uber important to constantly be checking in and adjusting goals as necessary. Where a resolution might set you up to feel down on yourself if you don’t follow through or succeed, a goal leaves room to wiggle and adapt based on changing needs.
001 // Set Goals
I know you might be thinking “How are goals different than resolutions?”. Here’s how I like to think of it. Goals are actions, resolutions are just dreams. With goals, you have reasonable actions, steps you can actually take to achieve what you want in life and help you be the best version of yourself. For example, a resolution might be something like “Lose 20 pounds this year” but a goal is “Eat a plant-based dinner one night a week”. Unlike the resolution that reads like a prison sentence and doesn’t even tell you how you’ll actually achieve that weight loss, the goal is telling you exactly what you’re doing to better your life and how you’re doing it.
BTW, I wrote a whole post last year on my favorite planner and how I use it to set-up my goals for success. You can read the post here.
003 // Add to Life
Like I mentioned above, many resolutions tend to read as if they are a punishment or a prison sentence, something you have to stop doing or remove from your life in order to improve. But what if instead of taking away, you think about how you can add to and enrich your life? To reference our diet example from up above, instead of saying something like “Cut carbs from diet” think of doing something like “Pick one new kind of produce to try at the farmer’s market”. Trust me, you’re going to have a lot more success adding something nutritious to your life than you will ever have trying to take away something away {that you probably shouldn't be taking away to begin with}.
005 // Leave IT Behind
After checking in on your goals, if you realize something is no longer serving you or adding positivity or value to your life, don’t be afraid to let it go and leave it behind, even if you haven’t accomplished it.
006 // Have Fun
It might sound like a no-brainer, but in today’s world of “Girl Boss” and “Hustle”, it can be easy to think that if a goal isn’t helping us achieve Girl Boss status, like yesterday, then it isn’t a goal worth having. Yes, you should be growing, changing, evolving and always working towards a better you, but here’s the thing, none of us are getting out of here alive. So in the midst of bettering your life, make sure you’re actually enjoying it, too. Goals don’t always have to relate to your health or your work. Incorporate just-because things like “Book a sushi class in February” or “Sign up for the 6-week dance class at the studio around the corner'“. Not only will you be keeping things fun and interesting in your life, you’ll also be adding a new skill to your repertoire, giving yourself a (probably) much-needed mental break and reducing stress and anxiety, too. And let’s be honest, if you aren’t having fun along the way, what’s the point of all the other stuff anyways?!
