Staying Sane During This Time
If it’s one thing we can all agree on,
it’s that we’re living in crazy times. We’re stressed, we’re anxious, we’re scared, we’re worried, we’re upset. Nothing is for sure, everything is up in the air. And we have a lot of questions, questions on if we’ll lose our jobs, what will happen to our restaurants, will we be able to pay our bills, will our economy survive….I mean, look, it’s stressful enough just trying to survive a normal day, so throw in this curveball of a virus, and it’s like forget about it. You think we have mental issues (anxiety, depression, etc.) normally? What about now?
I have a confession to make, though. I don’t know about you, but it’s not the virus that’s stressing me out. Ok, I lied. It’s definitely causing me some anxiety. But you know what gave me one of the worst panic attacks of my life this past week? The people pressuring me to make the most of this time. The people who seem to think this is a vacation and are forgetting that people are working around the clock to save us, feed us, keep us alive while other people are DYING. The people with seemingly nothing to do but watch Netflix all day {News flash- this isn’t spring break!}. The sudden need for virtual happy hours and catch-ups like never before {I swear, my schedule has never been fuller, but I also can’t help but wonder why some of these people haven’t kept in touch otherwise…}. The people going on endless shopping sprees while others are now struggling to get the basics. And so.much.content. {Where are people finding the time, energy and resources to create some of these things?!}. We are in a pandemic, not spring break in Panama {well some of us were, but don’t get me started on that…}.
Truthfully, I don’t know how some people have so much free time, and seem to be on a vacation, but I’m emotionally stretched to the max trying to mentally deal with what’s going on, and I still need to try to keep my business afloat, cook meals, keep a house clean and everything in between. TBH, I’ve never felt busier. And TBH, it’s making my head explode. And that’s coming from someone who, outside of losing a few jobs, is, mostly, continuing about business as usual. Imagine how someone who is now both working AND trying to homeschool their kids from home must feel when someone is telling them to go for that online degree, learn Mandarin and tackle making homemamde croissants on top of everything else?! Or what about the single parents? Imagine having to do your job, care for your kids, suddenly become a teacher, maintain your home and cook every meal….with no help??! Or the individuals who are still having to go to work, the nurses, doctors, farmers, cashiers? Or the service industry people who have lost their jobs, the people who don’t know how they’re going to pay their bills, the people without the means to stock up on supplies and groceries??!
Here’s the thing. I’m all about looking for the light, finding the bright spots, focusing on the positive, but I’m also all about keeping it real. While being stuck at home may be a gift and a positive for some, for others it means they’ve lost their job and now they have to worry about losing their home, or maybe their stuck with someone who is abusive, or they can’t get to the help they need for the severe depression they battle. For those individuals, being home is anything but a blessing.
While I’m not dealing with some of those things personally, I am facing other challenges, things like being asked to now work for free, or continuing to put out content, while I’ve lost many jobs and many other projects have been put on hold. And that, combined with the things I mentioned above, this pressure to do so much to make the most of this time, a time that is a rollercoaster filled with so much uncertainty and so many emotions, is just too much.
I know we’re all in different positions which means we all have different needs, worries and fears. And we’re all different individuals, which means we all handle things differently and in our own way. There is no one right way to handle and process what is happening. It’s hard, it’s unknown, it’s like nothing any of us have ever experienced before. We’re all just doing our best to survive the best way we can. So, while I am far from an expert, and by no means here to preach or pass judgment, I did want to at least share some ways that I’ve personally been handling things in case it helps someone else handle things, too. At the end of the day, though we may each handle things our own way, we’re all in this together, and we have to help each other, support each other and love each other the best we can.
JUST BE //
In today’s busy society we rarely allow ourseleves time to just sit and be with our thoughts and feelings. I know this may be easier said then done for some, but I think more than ever, especially with everything being so unpredictable and ever changing, it’s important to have even just a few minutes of alone time to process what you’re feeling and to just be in the moment. Light a candle, take an afternoon nap, just listen to music {like actually sit and listen, not do 10 other things while you listen}, watch a bird out your window, literally stop and smell the roses {or, you know, a rose scented candle}….just be.
GRATITUDE JOURNALING //
If you don’t already, now is as good a time as any to start gratitude journaling. It doesn’t need to be complicated and it doesn’t need to take long, just use a blank notebook and at the beginning of the day, write down 3-5 things your grateful for, a favorite quote {optional} and an affirmation {i.e. “I am strong”} and at the end of the day write down 3 things that were great about the day. No matter how bad it gets, there is always something to be grateful for and it’s helpful to remind yourself of that.
PRAYER + MEDITATION //
Both have always been a part of my daily routines, but I’ve amped up the time I spend doing both to help the extra stress in my life. More than ever there are so many free programs and free sessions on Instagram, etc.
MOVEMENT //
Whether you’re normally active or not, movement of some sort is so important to keep your energy and mood up. Whether you do an at-home workout, you pace back and forth in your yard, dance in your living room or you just have extra play time with your children, be sure you’re moving and not just spending all your time sitting on a couch.
BE A HELPER //
I know we’re talking about how to help your own mental health in this post so it might seem counterintuitive to talk about others but I’ve always found that the minute I change the attention away from myself and my problems to helping someone else/other problems, I instantly feel better. Is it stressful to donate money in uncertain times or help someone else when you don’t know if you’ll be able to help yourself? Sure. But it also provides a distraction and feel-good boost. And besides there are so many ways you can help within your means and what you have. Phone someone to check on them, send someone a card, order someone groceries, read to someone’s kids over FaceTime to give them a break, use your social media channels to share about an organization that’s helping….but again, help within what’s reasonable and comfortable for. As I said before, if you don’t help yourself first you will be useless at helping anyone else.
SAVOR SIMPLE + MAKE THE EVERYDAY SPECIAL //
Find joy in the little, simple things, like picking some flowers, ordering a new candle, treating yourself to a special face mask for you at-home skincare routine, having a slower breakfast. Don’t save something special for a rainy day. NOW is the rainy day, so open that wine you’ve been saving, enjoy that muffin, wear that special blouse…find ways to add a little joy to your new routine, your home, your space, your day.
GET FRESH AIR //
Nothing like a dose of fresh air and vitamin D to boost your mood. Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done these days. So, if you don’t have a porch, fire escape or back yard, at least try sitting by an open window for a few minutes a day.
LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD //
Don’t overload your schedule. If anything, now is the time to be doing less. It’s a stressful time, so don’t add to that by pressuring yourself to either continue your usual schedule, or add unnecessary expectations. If you get your cabinets organized in your extra time, great. If not, that’s great to. It takes a lot of time to process to what’s happening right now so allow yourself the time to do that.
PUT ON A PLAYLIST //
When all else fails, put on a fun playlist. Nothing lightens the mood like some good tunes!
FEEL YOUR FEELINGS //
Allow yourself to feel however you’re feeling and remind yourself it’s ok. It’s ok if you need an afternoon of trashy tv, it’s ok if you’re angry, it’s ok if one day you’re super productive and the next you can’t get off the couch {It me!}, it’s ok if you can’t stop crying, it’s ok and you’re allowed to feel that way. We’re going through unprecedented times dealing with something unpredictable and unknown, so you’re allowed to process that how you need to and feel how you feel about it. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
GIVE GRACE //
I mentioned it up above, but try to recognize that everyone is in a different position and everyone handles things differently, so give yourself the grace to accept that and give them the grace to do that. Whether it’s someone stocking up on groceries when you can’t, or someone sharing content that they think is helpful but you don’t, whatever it may be, give it grace and let it go. Holding a grudge, critisizing, verbally attacking someone else, being spiteful or hateful will hurt you more than it will hurt them. And the last thing we need to be doing is making our own lives more stressful {pretty sure the universe is doing a good job of that all on its own right now…}. So let it go…unfollow, block, distract, change the channel {and I’m not just talking about the tv}, do what you need to do to give grace and be at peace.
CONTROL WHAT YOU’RE CONSUMING //
I take in just enough news to be informed, then limit the rest, I set time limits for scrolling on Instagram, and anyone that is making me feel too much pressure I’m either muting or unfollowing. While I generally follow these rules, I’m taking a much firmer, take-no-prisoners approach now.
CREATE VS. CONSUME //
Again, another mantra I live by usually, but more so than ever I think it’s important to create versus consume. For me, I’m finding it especially helpful to continue creating content, recipes, articles, but it’s also helpful to create art or cookies or a flower arrangement or plans for our garden. In other words, it doesn’t have to be in your job description for you to create something. And you also don’t have to go and master some crazy new skill. It can truly be something simple, soemthing you already know and do. Whatever it is, I guarantee when you create versus consume you’ll feel a lot less stressed.
HOBBIES THAT HELP //
We all have different interests, likes and ways we process things. For some, they process by doing more, for others, they need to do less. For some, they enjoy baking so they bake more, while others enjoying taking photos so they want to take more photos. Don’t feel like just because you have more time means you need to suddenly need to take on a hobby you’d never be interested in otherwise. While I 100% agree that hobbies are great to keep your mind busy and occupied, and I think it’s great to push yourself out of your comfort zone, doing something you truly dislike just because you “have more time” is only going to add more stress to your life. So take on a hobby or two, but keep it in line with what you already like or would have taken on, quarantine or not. Personally, I like to draw so I’m excited to have more time to draw, and I like to bake, so I’m excited to try some more complicated baking projects, like brioche bread and croissants.
SAY NO //
I touched on this briefly above, but I feel like I’ve been flooded with virtual meet up requests more than ever. While I’m grateful for technology and friends, as someone who is an introvert that normally spends a significant amount of time at home anyways, it’s been a lot for me. I still need time to do the normal things I do at home anyways, things like workout, work, clean, cook and self-care, so I’m reminding myself that it’s ok to say no. Because the reality is, as much as you may want to help or be there for other people, if you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll be useless at helping anyone else.
HAVE A LAUGH //
Put on a funny podcast, look at memes, watch a comedian or a funny movie…no shade to those who love thrillers and scary movies, but I think now is all about needing some good laughs.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HELP YOURSELF STAY SANE DURING THIS STRESSFUL TIME?
