How To Unplug From Social Media
Let’s chat about how to unplug from social media.
I say as I can’t seem to type more than two sentences of this post without opening my own phone to mindlessly scroll social media. The irony. But also the reality of the world we live in.
Thanks to modern technology we now have almost everything available at our fingertips, which, if I’m being honest, is both a blessing and a curse. With things like busy schedules and long-distances between friends and family, it’s great to have so much so accessible and convenient, something that became even more valuable over the last two years when we all became even more dependent on technology to keep us connected, working and learning.
But on the flip side, it’s this accessibility that keeps us glued to our phones for inordinately ridiculous amount of times, documenting occasions instead of enjoying them, living our lives more on-line than offline, experiencing more technology than reality, running on autopilot as we unconsciously and mindlessly waste away our days scrolling social media feeds, becoming numb to what’s real and what isn’t, living vicariously through other people’s lives while missing out on the moments that make up our own.
The average screen time spent on social media is alarming, and thanks in large part to the pandemic and the ways it’s changed how we live and work, that time has only increased and continues to rise. And while it may seem like it’s for positive things (keeping in touch with family you haven’t been able to see IRL in two years, being involved in a virtual book club, etc), constantly be on and connected and checking social media negatively impacts your mental health and well-being in more ways than one.
I myself have a tumultuous love-hate relationship with social media. Of course, I need to be on it for my work, so I feel pressure that I’m “failing” at my job if I’m not constantly on, creating, commenting, sharing, interacting. But on the flip side I have yet to find something that creates a community in the way that can happen on a social platform, which is really, truly amazing, to be able to connect with different people from all around the world, or to stay in touch with strangers who become friends on different trips, or to share tips, answer questions, have conversations. It’s also such a great way to discover small brands, new restaurants or the best local spots, especially when traveling. But then again being “on” all the time is incredibly draining. For example, at the beginning of the pandemic, it was so great to be able to have social media to stay connected, chatting and checking in with people all around the world. But as time wore on, I found myself becoming increasingly drained of the over-stimulation from the over-communication. Having so many conversations with so many people, constantly communicating via dm’s, comments, texts, emails…what started as a blessing quickly morphed into a curse and I found myself almost resenting the accessibility and ease of communication. I went from answering every dm to not even wanting to open my messages. Texts from 6 months ago sit unanswered. Emails have fallen by the way side. I’m not proud of it. But it’s also a perfect example of how too much social media is never a good thing.
Over the years I’ve implemented some rules to help me handle things differently and change my approach to social media. Nowadays I have a different outlook on it and almost nothing bothers me about it anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still burn out, get frustrated and find myself wanting to throw my phone across the room because of it. When one or all of these things start happening, I realize it’s time to start muting/unfollowing people, taking longer breaks, wait to post until it’s fun again, and, when it’s really dire, to delete my app(s) altogether. Hiding and/or deleting my apps is truly one of the biggest game changers for me, so much so that it’s ow something I regularly do, a few full weeks out of the year as well as weekends here and there, when I really feel like I need it. And last year, I even started taking a full 24 hours off every Saturday. It was such a refreshing break in the week and I swear it helped me be more present, rested and focused when I was on the remaining 6 days of the week. Taking these breaks help me to clear my head, give me peace of mind, help me to collect my thoughts, gain clarity on my goals and priorities, re-focus on real life and what really matters and helps me to view social media more positively when I return to it. Getting comfortable and confident in who you are off-line, makes it lot easier to be confident and comfortable in the boundaries you set on-line.
Far too many people these days are more concerned with a good social media presence than being a good person. Don’t be one of those people. At the end of the day you have to remember, you are NOT your social media platforms. Do, post, share what is fun for YOU, what makes YOU happy, what YOU enjoy, what works for YOU. Because YOU run your social media platforms, they don’t run you.
Since I just finished up one of my week long social media breaks (I always take one around the holidays), I figured it was a perfect time to share some of my tips and the things I personally do to help me effectively unplug and disconnect from cyberspace and make it a more enjoyable place to be when I am on-line.
How To Unplug From Social Media
TURN OFF PUSH NOTIFICATIONS
One of the first, and best, things I ever did was turn off all notifications on my phone. While I’d love to be the supportive friend with the notifications on to remind me when someone I know and follow has just posted, for the sake of my mental health, this move ain’t it for me. Constant dings, constant noises, constant reminders to jump on social at any given moment do nothing but instill anxiety. And sure, it’s easy to say you’ll just jump on to check that one quick notification, but we all know how that goes. One thing leads to another and 2 hours later you’ll realized you haven’t looked up from your phone once. So take it from someone who doesn’t have notifications on, and who’s husband (annoyingly) does, do yourself a solid and turn them off. I promise you won’t miss anything that’s not worth missing.
ACTIVATE AIRPLANE MODE
While turning off push notifications definitely helps, sometimes it still just isn’t enough. So for the ultimate unplug from social media, shut out the world and turn off the noise and distractions move aka when I seriously need to focus, airplane mode is the way to go.
IMPLEMENT A SCHEDULE/ROUTINE
Ok, I know what you’re probably thinking. If I don’t have notifications set, how do I make sure I don’t miss anything? Simple I have a schedule. It varies from season-to-season depending on work and such, but generally I set certain times of day that I can and can’t be on social media to catch up with all the things. For example, I might say no social media in the early morning, before 7:30am and no social media after 9pm, late at night, and then in-between, I might select certain time blocks of 30 minutes, such as 10-10:30am, 1-:130pm and 4:30-5pm, where I can be on social media. Find what works for you and your schedule.
SET A TIMER
Keep yourself accountable to your schedule/routine by setting a timer for whatever your allotted social media time is. It’s so easy to say you’ll just spend a few minutes and well, we all know how that goes. Before you know it, a few minutes turns into a few hours. To get into the habit of a time limit, or if you don’t trust yourself enough to stick to a timer, there are even apps out there now that help you limit your time on your social platforms, or you can now even set reminders and daily limits right within some social media platforms (For example, to do it on Instagram, go to your “Settings” then “Account” then “Your Activity” and you’ll see the options on the bottom of the page.).
KEEP YOUR PHONE IN ANOTHER ROOM
You know the whole saying “out of sight, out of mind”? Well, the same applies here. If you can’t see it, you can’t use it. Put it in a drawer, keep it in another room, hide it in a closet, get an actual alarm clock so you don’t have that whole clock excuse to keep it in your room, whatever you’ve got to do to keep it out of sight, do it.
TACKLE YOUR TRIGGERS
Pay attention to what might be triggering you to aimlessly scroll your news feeds. Is it a task or conversation you’re avoiding? Is it an escape? Is it an avoidance of certain feelings? Or is it simply because you’re bored? Pay attention to these cues so you can take steps, and get the necessary help or guidance if needed, to tackle your triggers.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO MUTE AND/OR UNFOLLOW
Another trigger could be someone’s toxic behavior or content. If you find yourself loathing social because of someone’s account, or someone’s content brings you down every time you see it, or you find comments to be overwhelming, it’s time to unplug by putting some boundaries in place. Don’t be afraid to mute and/or unfollow people and to temporarily turn off your comments and/or DMs in order to keep yourself, your mental health and your time on social media protected, safe and enjoyable.
PLAY BY YOUR RULES
Just because the algorithm might want you to create reels or someone says you need to respond to every comment within 10 minutes or someone else spends 2 hours of their day engaging, doesn’t mean you have to. Yes, if you are using social media for business there are certain things that are best practices (like responding to comments). But learn how to do them in a way that works for you and respects your boundaries, your space, your time, your mental health, your well-being, such as setting time limits or outsourcing certain tasks. Remember, you are NOT your social media platforms. You run your social media platforms, they don’t run you, so get comfortable and confident in your WHY and what works for you. And don’t forget, you don’t need owe anyone an explanation or need to justify your “rules” to anyone else. If someone else doesn’t like it, or it doesn’t work for them, they can simply apply the same mute and/or unfollow action that I mentioned above. As I said before, getting comfortable and confident in who you are off-line, makes it lot easier to be confident and comfortable in the boundaries and rules you set on-line, and the only people who will ever question you or be upset with you about that are those who aren’t confident and comfortable with themselves and their own social media boundaries.
MAKE IT FUN AGAIN
I know this sounds silly but bear with me here. For a lot of us, when we started on social media, it was all just fun and games. But as the years have gone on, social media has transformed into so much more. We have to post at certain times, shoot a certain way, only use certain colors, stick to a certain filter, all these little things that can really start to suck the life and fun out of social media. So, for me, one way I can unplug from social media, without fully unplugging, is to switch things up and make it fun again. Throw “rules” out the window, use a different filter, shoot and post a photo all in the same moment (Shocking, I know), post 3,5,7 however many times you want in one day, develop a mini series, do something to give back…be creative, have fun, don’t be afraid to be too silly or to make a mistake (there are none when it comes to this) or what others might think. Do, post, share what is fun for YOU, what makes YOU happy, what YOU enjoy!
BE BETTER IRL THAN YOU ARE ON-LINE
Be more concerned with who you are off-line than you are on-line. Spend more time being a better human than a better Instagrammer. Do things because they’re good things, not because they’ll get you good engagement. Don’t be that person doing things just for the ‘gram. Volunteer, give back, spend time with family and friends (the real ones, not the on-line ones), pray, meditate, cook nourishing meals, learn a language, take care of your mental health, take care of your physical health, go outside, get in nature, breath in fresh air.
HAVE AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER
Because, while you can disconnect from social media alone, it’s always easier (and more fun) to do it together. Whether it’s your partner or a friend or a roommate, find ways to go offline together. Maybe pick the same schedule to be on and off social media, or agree to meet for a walk or a coffee instead of spending that time catching up on-line, or take up a new hobby together or have a phone-free meal/date/day. For example, Dave and I have a shared no phones once we’re in bed rule and we’ll also choose different meals or dates where we both agree to put our phones aside.
PICK UP A HOBBY THAT DOESN’T REQUIRE YOUR PHONE
Baking, cooking, knitting, collecting, reading, painting, gardening, woodworking, and on and on and on. Point being- there’s no excuse because there’s truly no shortage of things you can do without your phone in hand.
READ MORE, SCROLL LESS
Every time you’re tempted to scroll your social media apps aimlessly, pick up something IRL to scroll instead, be it a book, a magazine or. newspaper. The trick here is to just be sure you actually keep these things on hand. Nothing like wanting to read a book instead of your phone only to realize you don’t have any new ones to read.
TURN TO OTHER RESOURCES
If you find you’re using social media as an excuse for how you source inspiration or get new recipes or catch-up on news, find different ways to get those same resources, sans social. For example, pick up a cookbook for recipes and a magazine for inspiration.
GO PHONE-LESS
Whether it’s for a day, a meal, a movie, pick a time that works for you to go phone-less and be present, living your life, IRL. For example, Dave and I go phone-less every Sunday, for our Sunday supper. And, as I mentioned up above in the intro, last year I started taking every Saturday off of social media and I can’t tell you how refreshing and how helpful it was for my mental health and well-being, so much so that I plan to continue doing it for the foreseeable future.
DELETE THE APP(S)
When push comes to shove, if you really just can’t resist opening your social media apps, you’re having trouble sticking to a schedule or timers, or you just really need, like ya know, an actual real break, it’s time to delete the apps, or at the very least hide them/take them off your phone screen. I frequently hide my own apps on my home screen because sometimes that extra effort of finding them is enough to keep me off them. But I also like to have a few weekends and weeks a year where I have a full detox from them and fully remove them. Because, again, ya know, out of sight, out of mind. It can be a hard adjustment at first, clicking where the app once was almost on auto-pilot, only to be disappointed when something silly, like your grocery store app, opens instead of Instagram. But as time goes on, it gets easier. In fact, sometimes it gets so easy, you almost question re-downloading the apps. My biggest tip here is to start with small periods of time and be sure you have hobbies, dates, books, etc. to fill up your time in real life so you don’t even realize you’re missing out on social media life.
STEP AWAY
At the end of the day social media should be fun (yes, even if it is a part of your job), so you find yourself loathing it, or it makes you want to throw your phone across the room (Been there, done that!), or you’re dragging your feet to post, or it feels forced and like more of a chore to be on, it might just be a sign that it’s time for you to implement some (or all) of these steps and unplug for a little bit. Take a step back, do something different, read a book, go off the grid, clear your mind and you (and your social media presence) will be better for it. And don’t push it either. Step away until it feels right. You’ll know when that is because you’ll be bursting with creativity and ideas and you’ll feel antsy and excited to share them all as soon as possible. In other words, it will feel fun again. And until that happens, be it 2 hours, 2 days or 2 weeks, I promise you, the world isn’t going to end and social media isn’t going anywhere and it really won’t matter if you miss a few days of posts because Instagram never shows them chronologically anymore anyways! Just sayin’ :)
