Notes On // Intuitive Goal Setting
Intuitive Goal Setting
Last year, for the first time, maybe ever, I didn’t buy a calendar, or even a planner, for the year ahead. Typing that sentence and acknowledging that aloud puts even me into a state of shock. Anyone who knows me knows that my planner is essentially an extension of my body. Even in this very digital day and age I don’t go anywhere without it. Getting rid of it is essentially like getting rid of one of my limbs.
Like many, after the last few years, my perspective on so many things has changed. If anything, it’s taught us that at the end of the day, so much of life is ultimately out of our control and even the best laid plans can come crashing down around us (something I’m really trying to remind myself of even more recently with our home break-in and some of the personal issues that came up last year that were completely out of our control). Now, looking at a calendar with nothing but 12 months of blank pages stretching before me, and trying to make sense of how to fill said pages, not only feels daunting but in a lot of ways feels unnecessary.
I try very hard to live in the moment, to let go of what is and isn’t, to appreciate what’s right in front of me while working towards what I want and to be patient while doing so. The last few years really brought so many of those lessons front and center for me, and that’s what I’ve been carrying with me since.
Of course, it’s not like dreams disappear, goals go away and to-do lists stop. But here’s the thing, when it comes to goals and fresh starts, you don’t need some date on a calendar to determine when you can or can’t dream up new dreams, achieve a goal or cross off a to-do item on your to-do list. You don’t need a date on a calendar to tell you what to do and when to do it.
Now, I wasn’t always this way, with what I refer to as intuitive goal setting. I was very much one of those people that if I didn’t start my new goals on 1/1, the year was obviously ruined. If I missed one of my Monday to-do’s, my week was basically ruined and I might as well wait for next Monday, or next Month, or next year, to try again, or just give up entirely. And if I came up with a new idea or goal, I could never start it right away. It always had to get carefully planned into the next Monday or 1st of the Month. Because, like, what sane person would actually start a goal at 3:47pm on a Wednesday??!
And look, I totally get that in order for goals to get accomplished there is some planning, dates and deadlines involved. Things need to be broken down into actionable chunks, whether those chunks are days, weeks, months or years. And to begin the journey of accomplishing a goal, you must take the first step, but to take the first step, you kind of need to know where you’re going and where that step needs to be. Otherwise, there might not always be motivation to keep going and a goal could then go on, unchecked, forever.
Personally, I’ve come to realize how many of my big goals are actually life goals, not year goals. In fact, the more I’ve examined my goals, the more I’ve realized there really aren’t any things that qualify as year goals. There are just things I want to accomplish and do in my life. Some of them will take less than a year, some will take many years. Some have a more specific timeline, some are flexible to happen whenever they’re able. Some I can work on right away, others have to wait. The list is always growing, too. Whenever the inspiration strikes I can add to the list. If something feels like it no longer fits, it gets removed. I start working on goals however and whenever I can, as soon as I can. If I want to start drinking more water, or eating more greens, I don’t wait until January 1st to do it. I just do it. If I want to write a book, I make a plan to do it. I don’t wait until the 1st to start. If my body is in need of rest, I rest (even if it is the new year and everyone around me is getting back to work). You don’t need a silly date to motivate you or determine when you do or don’t do things. Why put off what you can do today?
I’m sharing all of this to remind you that it’s ok to intuitively set goals how it works for you. You don’t have to set goals on the first of the year or the first of the month. You also don’t have to wait for the first to start accomplishing those goals. You don’t have to set goals when you think you should or you’re told you should. You don’ have to set goals that you can only accomplish in one year, and you don’t have to let go of goals you didn’t accomplish in a year. You don’t have to set goals when everyone else is and how everyone else is. You’re not everyone else.
At the same time, don’t wait to be the best version of yourself. Don’t wait to achieve what you want to achieve. Embrace the moment, embrace your hopes and goals and dreams. Make a plan but enjoy the journey and be flexible along the way. Whether you get an idea or a goal or something you’d like to achieve at 1am on a Thursday in the middle of April, or while grocery shopping at 6:47pm on a Tuesday or laying on the beach on a hot day in August, or January 1st, it’s still the same goal. The date doesn’t change the goal. Don’t get caught up in something silly and hold yourself back from achieving your dream sooner. Go for it when the inspiration strikes.
During the height of the pandemic, it was common to hear so many people saying “when things return to normal”, putting so much on pause, but the reality is, whether it’s normal or not, it’s life. This is our life. This isn’t a dress rehearsal, there won’t be a do-over, you won’t get this time back. Wanting something to be different won’t make it that way. Make space for your emotions and to process things how you need to, but don’t wait around to live your life. Adjust your sails to the changing winds and the stormy waters, but keep on sailing. Use what you have where you are to do what you want. Life is too short to wait, and, if the last few years taught us anything, another day is never guaranteed. Don’t wait.
As Ernest Hemingway said “It’s good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”
