Sometimes I don’t know what to say.

Sometimes the right words evade me. Sometimes it’s hard to put things into words. Sometimes I don’t want to say anything because things things are difficult, uncertain, uneasy. Sometimes I just don’t have any words to say at all (shocking, I know).

When words fail me, I turn to the kitchen and to food. Food is a language all its own. It speaks without words, it conveys so much without saying anything at all, it connects us even if we don’t speak the same language. It crosses barriers and borders to unite us, it offers comfort and shelter, it provides escape, it ties us to places we’ve been and places we will go, it connects us with our loved ones, both past and present, it’s expressive, educational and emotional. When words fail me, food does not.

Recently, and I guess, let’s be real, most of this year, I’ve struggled with words, what to say, when to say it, saying the wrong thing, saying the right thing, saying the right thing at the right time. It’s safe to say 2020 has been anything but easy.

It’s also safe to say that I’ve spent a lot of 2020 in the kitchen. The kitchen is my shelter, my haven, and baking my mediation, my comfort. When the world feels scary, the kitchen feels safe. I put on music, light a candle and get lost in a recipe, new or old. Sometimes I appreicate the challenge of something new, a recipe that allows me to explore another culture, another world, without ever leaving home. But most of the time I prefer the recipes that remind me of home, the tried and true favorites that have been passed down, the pie just like my Great Aunt Lucy use to make it, the things I could make with my eyes closed, the things that are familiar and comforting, the things that never fail me, like this never fail chocolate cake.

While I may fail at my words, this cake never fails to live up to its’ name. It never fails to be decandetly delicious, rich, soft, fluffy {you can thank the spoiled milk for that}. It never fails to be super easy to make {you just need one bowl and one baking pan}. It never fails to evoke emotions, provide a sense of ease and familiarity and make me feel connected to home, to my Mom and my Grandma who have both made this cake before me {you can see the original recipe in one of the pictures below}. It never fails to satsify a craving for chocolate cake. It never fails to connect those sharing it. It never fails to bring joy to those eating it.

I can’t guarantee that I will always have the right words to say, or any words to say at all, but I can guarantee that this chocolate cake will never fail to be the best chocolate cake you ever eat.

INGREDIENTS

FOR THE CAKE

• 1 egg

• 1/2 cup oil (canola, coconut, olive oil)

• 1 cup granulated sugar

• 1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

• 1/2 cup cocoa powder

• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda

• 2 teaspoons baking powder

• 1/8 teaspoon salt

• 1 teaspoon instant coffee (optional)

• 1/2 cup boiling water

• 1/2 cup sour/spoiled milk (see notes)

FOR THE FROSTING

• 1/2 cup butter, unsalted and softened to room temperature

• 3 1/2 cups confectioners sugar

• 1 egg (optional, see notes)

• 3 ounces dark chocolate, melted and cooled

• 1 teaspoon vanilla

• Generous pinch of salt

• 2-4 teaspoons instant coffee (optional)

• 2-4 tablespoons of milk or heavy cream

*This vegan chocolate frosting is also a delicious option for this cake!

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease (or line with parchment paper) a 9” square pan and set aside.

2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, or using a handheld mixer, beat together the egg, oil and sugar until light and creamy. Add in the dry ingredients and beat slightly, about 30 seconds. Then add the water and milk and continue beating for 2-3 minutes, or until everything is well combined.

3. Pour the batter into the prepared baking pan. Run a toothpick or knife through to remove any bubbles, then place in the oven and bake for 35-40 minutes, or until a toothpick or knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.

4. Meanwhile, in a clean mixing bowl, combine the butter and 1 cup of confectioners sugar. Beat until creamy, then add egg and continue beating for 2-3 minutes until well incorporated and fluffy peaks form.

5. With the mixer on low speed, begin drizzling in the melted chocolate along with the vanilla and sea salt. Once completely mixed in, add the remaining sugar, instant coffee (if you’re using it; and enough milk to achieve your desired frosting consistency (I usually stick to 2 tablespoons as I prefer a thicker frosting).

6. Once the cake is cool, frost it. Then slice and serve. This cake tastes best within the first day or two of being made, but it will last, covered tightly, for 3-4 days.

NOTES

• The best part of this recipe is the sour milk. It means you never have to waste milk, even if it’s gone bad, and every time you have milk that does go bad, you have the perfect excuse to make a chocolate cake. However, you don’t need to wait for bad milk to make this cake. You can also use heavy cream that has gone bad, buttermilk, or 1/2 a cup of milk with 1/2 tablespoon of lemon juice or apple cider vinegar mixed in.

• For the egg in the frosting, it’s not necessary at all and I’ve made the frosting plenty of times sans egg. The egg simply makes the frosting extra fluffy and full. If I do use egg (since it is raw), I use only farm-fresh, free-range, organic eggs. I know not everyone feels comfortable with raw eggs, so do whatever feels right to you. I promise the frosting tastes just as delicious without it!

• The instant coffee isn’t necessary at all, but I love the way it really enhances and rounds out the overall chocolate flavor. A little goes a long way, but adding more does result in more of a mocha flavor profile versus just chocolate.

• This cake tastes great as is, but I do love adding things such as sea salt flakes, chopped hazelnuts or pecans, or caramel on top of the cake to jazz it up and make it extra special.